The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss

Author unknown, illustration by Fred Levy

Well, it looks like the trial of the century will last another century, as OJ Simpson plans to appeal the court's decisions after finding out, only after the verdict, that one of the civil trial jurors was associated with the criminal prosecutor's team.

This means either a concerted conspiracy, or just proof of the stupidity of the American legal system. Either way it can only be seen two ways; either an innocent man is being persecuted, or a quilty man is walking free. Who knows?

I did not kill my lovely wife.

I did not slash her with a knife.

I did not bonk her on the head.

I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.

I took a limo, then took a flight.

The bag I had was just for me.

My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home, I had a gash.

My hand was cut from broken glass.

I cut my hand on broken glass.

A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.

All through LA, from side to side.

From north to south, we took a ride.

But from the cops we could not hide.

My trial lasted for a year.

A year! A year! Just sitting here!

The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!

The circus-hype the viewers saw!

A year! A year! Just sitting here!

Did you do this awful crime?

Did you do this anytime?

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you take this person's life?

Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.

I did not, could not, kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you hit her from above.

Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.

I cannot even wear that glove.

I did not do it with a knife.

I did not, could not, kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not, anytime.

The glove you see, it doesn't fit

The lawyer says you must acquit

Acquit because the cops all lied

"Acquit! Acquit!" the lawyer cried

The jury came back, verdict in hand and silence fell across the land

"Not guilty, not guilty" they did decree

"Not guilty, not guilty, now set him free"

And now I'm free, I can return

To my house for which I yearn.

And to my family whom I love.

Now would you please return my glove!!!

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